


Shut Down

by MorganaNK



Category: Inspector Lynley - All Media Types, Inspector Lynley Mysteries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:08:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25922596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaNK/pseuds/MorganaNK
Summary: A fic set at the end of 'Know Thine Enemy'.  Tommy and Barbara have different ways of processing the thingsWith help from a post on Pinterest
Relationships: Barbara Havers/Thomas Lynley
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Shut Down

**Author's Note:**

> Property of Elizabeth George and the BBC, no copyright infringement intended

I could tell Barbara was hurting. Even though I was sitting next to her, it felt as if she were a million miles away.

She stared straight ahead at the tv screen, her features blank, but I knew her well enough to see behind the mask.

I just had no idea how to reach her there.

~*~

I knew Tommy wanted us to have a conversation. He wanted to understand why I had misread Tania so badly.

I couldn’t tell him.

He was a talker. Whatever was bothering him, it bubbled away inside of him until it boiled over. All the words rushed out until he had purged himself and, if not resolved the issue, then found some kind of peace with it. Except for when Helen died, but that was different, he was battling guilt and grief.

As much as he had changed me, and he definitely had, there were still times when the Barbara of old asserted her dominance, the Barbara who shut down and shut out everyone, friend or foe. 

This was one of those times.

~*~

As we walked out of the office, I tried to draw her into conversation.

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You saved her life, Barbara. Anyway, they're both going down now. For good.”

Her response was as forced as the half-smile on her face.

“All right, Sir. Just don't say, 'I told you so'."

She held my gaze for a heartbeat, then turned away and got in her car. 

Despondently, I watched her go.

~*~

As I drove away from Tommy, I felt bad. He had been trying to help me, trying to find an inroad to make me open up to him.

I loved him for it.

I hated him for it too.

I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want company. I didn’t want to answer my phone. I didn’t want a postmortem over who, what, when, where, why, and how. 

I had to process what had happened in order to make sense of it. To achieve that, on this occasion I needed to do it alone.

I just had to hope that when I did, he would still be there and, if he cared as much as I thought he did, that he would understand.

And forgive me.


End file.
